Freya is soon to take her first excursion into life without parents. In August she is to start pre-school, at the school we’d hoped – and almost didn’t get – she would be in.

Despite having put her name down soon after she was born, we received a letter a few months ago stating was no place for her.

Despondently, Jo put her name on the reserve list and, to our surprise, a vacancy became available. Our joy over this news comes from four reasons we wanted this placing:

1) Freya will get vegan food;
2) The school is bilingual;
3) The philosophy that guides the school is a more libertarian one;
4) It’s local.

We received a wad of papers when we attended the welcoming evening, in both Swedish and English. After reading through these many, many times, I do not know whether to laugh or cry: the English is appalling.

Here are some of the choice cuts (wrong spelling/grammar use underlined):

9.00 A shorter circle with some fruit

10.45 Circle time in responsible groups

17.30 The pre-school is closing

…your child and we…are going to experience exiting…things together.

…they are done to stimulate your childs’ language, give him/her a better understandig of it and to enrich his/hers vocabulary.

The children learn about themselfs.

Tag/label all the childrens’ clothes.

There are numerous other errors, though for the sake of preserving sanity I shall refrain from wasting valuable virtual space by including them.

I understand that these papers were translated by a Swede; one would think that a school that advertises its multi-lingual status would spend a little more time on first impressions.

Overall, though, I know Freya won’t suffer. The staff stick to their respective mother-tongues. I shall, however, be monitoring further communications with peeled eyes.