Today is the first day for a long time that I am without my usual medication. Today I am clean.
I was given anti-depressives for stress about two years ago. After a short course I stopped taking them, only for the stress and a few panic attacks to creep their way back into my life. After talking to the doctor about the problem, we decided that I should go back to taking medication. About a year later, I have slowly decreased the amount. Today I stopped completely.
It is difficult to know if I can live without pills, but I imagine things will be ok. My life situation has changed a bit since first dosing myself, for the better: The girls are older, and more self sufficient; I am happier and more confident at work: I have slightly different routines, ones that used to cause stress.
At worst, I know that the medicine I took works wonders. At worst I could always go back to taking it. I do not want to, and, with some confidence, I do not think I will need to.