Terrorists Of The World, Franchise!

While the modern terrorist has at his/her disposal a miriad methods to cause destruction to the enemy, the techniques used lack two important factors in bringing about an eventual victory :

1) The area of effect and number of casualties from an attack is comparitavely small.

2) The method itself is, by its very nature, seen by the majority around the globe as unacceptable.

There is another (not only acceptable, but actively encouraged and welcomed) way to seriously reduce a population : open a chain of fast-food restaurants.

30% of Americans are classified as obese. That’s 59 million severely overweight people (at least 300 million worldwide, report the WHO), according to Professor Jay Olshansky of the University of Illinois.

For a pious nation who seem hell-bent on inflicting their religion upon themselves, the deadly sin of gluttony has been presenting itself in an ironic twist of fate ; the affluent are revelling eating themselves to death.

Obesity has been linked to: Hypertension, Coronary Heart Disease, Adult Onset Diabetes, Stroke, Gall Bladder Disease, Osteoarthritis, Sleep Apnea, Respiratory Problems, Endometrial, Breast, Prostate and Colon Cancers, Dyslipidemia, steatohepatitis, insulin resistance, breathlessness, Asthma, Hyperuricaemia, reproductive hormone abnormalities, polycystic ovarian syndrome, impaired fertility and lower back pain.

This is chemical warfare in a consumer-friendly package. Jesus, you can even get the enemy to proudly wave your flag (emblazoned with adverts for your organisation, or cell) as they walk merrily down the road to their premature deaths.

It’s a fitting time, perhaps, for terrorists around the world to adopt a new aphorism : “burgers, not bombs.”

As an aside, in a recent poll conducted on behalf of the BBC gluttony should no longer feature as one of the deadly sins.